On a rainy weekend, I was so happy, so energized. I did a lot of cleaning and reorganizing – I scrubbed floors, took the porch apart and gave it a mid-summer cleaning, washed curtains and even polished silverware! I was bopping around, enjoying music, enjoying silence, enjoying the immediate gratification of cleaning. I know you’re thinking – wow, she’s out of her mind! Yes I am, and very proud of it, as a matter of fact!

I had been going thru a phase of low energy, lack of interest in these things, in and out of down moods. I am so pleased with myself, because I’ve been accepting myself being that way, knowing it will change, knowing it is valuable in and of itself. I’ve been just being me – it doesn’t sound all that great, but believe me, it is fabulous!

As Elvis Costello sang:  “I can’t stand up for falling down”.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about the meaning of cleaning, both for individuals and for couples. (I’ll send you my thoughts about couples’ chores issues in the future!) Some things I’ve been becoming more aware of: there is no right way. We all think we know exactly what works best, but when you are more open minded, there are often better ways. I’ve been working on becoming more flexible in general. A small but to me very meaningful example: for years I changed the light bulbs in an outdoor fixture, (uncomfortable in the cold, for sure) – by removing the part that hung down over the bulbs. One day I realized that I could just reach under it and change the bulbs a lot easier! It was one of many lessons that showed me I always have tended to do things the hard way, and had felt very burdened because of it.  It was part of my core identity, or so I thought. The personal work I’ve been doing has helped me to see that it doesn’t have to be that way.

Another thing about cleaning, the immediate gratification I mentioned above. When you’re into it, and enjoying it, it becomes a joyful meditative and energizing experience. All of us have had many times of doing chores just because we “have to”. Whether one is in a couple or not, we have all felt resentments about having to do these things. What I keep learning, again and again, is that when I take good care of myself, and get more in touch with what I really want to do, I get more done in less time and enjoy it a lot more often. Cleaning and reorganizing has a very useful, enjoyable aspect to it when you’re in that frame of mind. It helps you clear some stuff inside and get ready for other activities, sometimes daunting ones. 

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When your house is clean, your laundry done, when you have that good feeling about yourself, you go into your next challenge feeling more confident, calmer, and a lot more hopeful.

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Putting yourself first is one of the more difficult things in our culture. We are taught, often, to think of others first and to think rather poorly of ourselves in general. This is true throughout our lives, and I’m thinking more about the years of maturity. Calling upon an inner sense of trust helps remind us of all that we’ve learned over 50-plus years of life. It helps a lot to say, “wow, I’ve done a lot, I know how to do a lot, I can do many things – and I’m willing to not know everything now”. Not knowing is an uncomfortable place and a highly valuable one. Trusting yourself is the key to finding your way in the world, and in your life. Putting yourself first is a necessity.

I learned a new skill way back in my 30’s. I was totally out of touch with my wants and needs. I had no idea what to do when; this was after spending most of my life in school, finishing grad school at 28. I developed a technique – when I did have unscheduled time, I would sit in my kitchen and review all my choices and try to get in touch with what I actually wanted to do. I would then go and do it and see if that was the right pick. If it turned out to be something I didn’t like, I’d stop and go back, sit down and think again. Over time this turned out to be very helpful. I found that I got things done, and enjoyed the doing of them. I gave myself time to relax too. Of course there are still times I feel overwhelmed, uncertain, resentful, frustrated – being human and all. But I do find that when I’m using that technique, and when I’m putting myself first as often as possible, those times are a lot less frequent.

When you try identifying your real wants and needs, when you give yourself real permission and encouragement to relax and have fun, you’ll get to this wonderful place:

I DON’T GOTTA DO NOTHIN!!!

Ok, it’s officially Spring. Why do so many of us get so frustrated when we know from long experience that it’s often chilly, damp, downright cold during the emergence of spring. We get impatient with the totally normal unfolding of the season. How many times has it actually been cold and rainy on Memorial Day Weekend?!

Ok, It's Officially Spring…

Our society is impatient, our culture teaches us to get frustrated. We have these patterns deeply ingrained, they have become automatic reactions. Some of it is natural too – like a progressing pregnancy – you just want it to be over, already!

These patterns interfere with our capacity to enjoy the moments we have in this life, whether it’s spring or another time of year. Our culture teaches us to avoid looking at, accepting, things like decomposing, or aging. Decomposition is natural and necessary for growth and change, in fact for life itself.

We often lack the respect reserved for elders in other societies; our lack of tolerance for decomposing materials is a mirror image of this lack of respect. Those who do composting are more in touch with these aspects of real life; there certainly are many among us who are working to get more in touch with the elements, the deeper realities of being here now.

In order to get more in touch, there are a few things, activities, that can be very helpful. Taking walks in the woods is very helpful. I’m going to be doing these as group activities soon, please let me know if you are interested. Meditation is a huge help too; these are things that slow us down to a more human pace, and help us be in touch with the real aspects of ourselves, our lives. We are trying to become accustomed to a frantic pace, secondary to technology in our world. It is really doable to do both – use the technology and slow it down, internally. We are adapting to the rush of tech; it is here to help us, not make us frantic.

When you are able to slow down, you become a lot more appreciative of what we have, a lot more ready to see the details of spring unfolding, really ready to enjoy the flowers. When we are rushed, frantic, overwhelmed, the irony is that the flowers flash by too, just like everything else we see, and we miss out on the opportunity to deeply access the sources of true joy. Let yourself life and love, taking in the dark and the light, the slow and the quick, this perspective will deepen your love of life.

We are all a little nuts!

Sometimes we are really beautiful nuts (just sayin’ – actually acorns aren’t nuts), sometimes we are more than a little cracked:

See? I bet you know just how this feels! This is what happens to all of us sometimes, we just want it to happen less.

When we don’t take good care of ourselves and either just run out of steam or run into unexpected stresses, we hit the wall and end up feeling pretty much that we’ve come apart. This is just temporary and most of us have learned, oh crap I’ve done it again, I just didn’t think it through, didn’t take into account all the stuff I was trying to do, how much time it would really take.

The major key element is thinking and feeling, deeply, that “I deserve – I need – I want”  meaning that it is really seriously ok to relax, have some time to yourself, time to hang out with friends and family, TIME FOR YOU! When we feel we are stealing time, sneaking it, it feels like an addiction. We have an awareness running in the back of the mind, thoughts about other things that need to be done, and a lot of guilt accompanying the whole song, thumping quietly, preventing real enjoyment.

One way to work on this perennial issue is to craft some realistic statements that express the truth of your options. Something like: “I can relax today,  I trust that with the rest I get today I’ll be more in the mood to get stuff done tomorrow. I’ve done it this way before and it’s worked out, so it should be fine”. These are my words, a way that works for me; it needs to be your own words, your own truth. Just keep workin’ it, you’ll get it and you’ll love it!

Please tell me what has worked for you, I love finding new ways to share with others that really help – we can work together!

It’s important to recognize both elements of the post-holiday time – we all need down time, couch time, hibernation time. This is an aspect of winter, we are programmed like the bears to take to our caves and eat more. After the holidays, we are ‘peopled out’ too! We’ve had enough social contact and just want to cocoon. There is something else going on too – we want to make fresh starts on certain projects, we want to clean out closets or paint a room, or get into exercising.

The key is to make a plan and act on it, not just think about it! The thinking part is vital, though. As you are lying on your couch, make some notes about what you want to do, make wish lists, pick things that are more doable, given your time and money constraints. It’s kind of like making your list of presents when you were a child – all the things you want, knowing you can’t have everything! But it’s very entertaining to make your list, and check it twice. Here you don’t have to worry about being naughty or nice!

PICK ONE THING! Set your goal, write about why you have chosen it, why it’s important to you. This will help you get and STAY motivated – which is the biggest issue for most of us. Paint the picture of what it is you want to achieve, then get more specific about exactly what it is, define it. You may find that as you do this, it changes! This is a good thing – it helps you figure out what you really want. A lot of times plans don’t work out because we have not spent the time REALLY looking at what we want for ourselves. Our emotions are the fuel for motivation.

Once you have chosen your goal carefully, break it down into small steps – make it doable! This includes deciding what objects you need, and figuring costs and time as well. Plan out over several weeks taking the small steps needed to accomplish your goal. BE REALISTIC! Projects always take longer than we think, often because we don’t anticipate all the steps and other things come along to interfere. If we’re not realistic, we can become very disappointed in the pace for achieving our goals, then we get discouraged and fall off track. THEN we feel lousy about ourselves. The object here is to ensure achievement, which is great by itself, and even better when you think about what you have been able to accomplish.

A good example is cleaning out all your kitchen cabinets. Many of us put it off for YEARS because it can be so overwhelming. When you are considering this option, think about WHY it might be important; if you are cooking a lot, or want to cook more, those can be great motivators. Having cleaner, better organized cabinets will mean cooking will be more fun, you won’t be confronted with dirt or mess, you’ll know exactly where everything is, and will have what you need! Then you can put on the music you like and cook to your heart’s content!

Take a good look at your cabinets. Make a list of what you will need, like boxes and trash bags for the cleaning out phases, new liner, extra sponges or cleaning agents. If you have too many glasses, plates, pans, etc, designate a box for Goodwill. Go shopping first, so you have everything you’ll need. Pick good music for the day or evening you’re going to start.

Decide how much time to devote! This is mega! Do one shelf at a time. If you spend an entire weekend you will be exhausted and then you’ll put it off for another decade. Do one shelf a day, figure two weeks. As you do it, you’ll feel good about what you’re accomplishing, and you’ll see things you never saw before! You’ll have good thoughts about re-organizing, putting things within reach that you use the most.

Give yourself some valuable rewards, like taking a hot bath after each shelf, or a new hairdo after week one. Think it out ahead of time and plan your rewards, to help you keep on truckin’! You’ll probably be excited about it in the beginning but will be getting sick of it towards the middle and near the end – expect this and help yourself succeed! You will feel awesome about completing this task and more importantly, about yourself. Let yourself feel the pride that will come of your success.

Each time you make a plan and succeed, you will feel a great confidence boost. This really helps you feel more positive in general, gives you an upbeat mood a lot more often. Feeling happier gives you more energy and keeps the ball rolling. It’s great to enjoy life –

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU, I HOPE 2012 IS GREAT FOR YOU!!!

Dr. Victoria Handfield, 2012

If I’m not speaking to you, take a look at this pic and see that nature has holiday colors, big time. It may be that holiday traditions originated using these colors for simple reasons – they were already there!

Take some deep breaths and vow to relax some and open yourself up to all the joys of this season!

There isn’t a whole lot of time left, so pare your list down drastically. Tell people if you haven’t the time or the patience for shopping for gifts for them – tell them you will take them out for lunch or dinner after the holidays. Tell them you love them and will get tickets for a concert so  you can spend some serious quality time together. Don’t drive yourself into a panic attack, worrying about whether it’s just the perfect gift for any particular person. Trust that you will either find just the right thing or you’ll do something great together later on.

There are no rules, there are no requirements, only those we inflict on ourselves – we are our own worst critics and we can stop doing this to ourselves. When we choose to enjoy, expand and allow ourselves to love life – life loves us right back!

In my experience, people are reluctant to take medication because they equate it with dependency.  Americans value a sense of independence so highly, without thinking it through – they want to be independent of medications. Also, many people equate mediations with “drugs”. I have frequently tried to point out the difference without success. Another factor not mentioned in the article I saw (AP, Marilynn Marchione, week of 11/14/11) is that many are fearful of addiction and don’t understand the physical mechanisms involved. One more factor is the high level of distrust of pharmaceutical companies, which is well-founded now; the distrust used to be left over from grandparents’ experiences with doctors trained before there were many good medications (snake oil days), but now we have many good reasons to be distrustful which I won’t go into. These factors are highly interwoven and largely subconscious.

Independence is highly valued for good reasons. However, we also need to be dependent in some ways. Many people understand this when it comes to family relationships, (healthier ones that is) but don’t get it when it has to do with medications.

This is another aspect of the importance of balance, not only in our emotional lives, our physical lives too. One thing I have found helpful for people to recall is that we didn’t have these medication choices in the past. It is vital to become highly informed about our medication choices and this is often helpful when it comes to making a good decision. We are very fortunate to be living in a time when we have so many choices, even though it is often overwhelming.

Try to think more positively about yourself, remind yourself that you deserve to treat your body well. I recommend putting premium gas in your tank!

by Vicki Handfield

Spend and Save Wisely

We have all spent too much money at times, some more than others. It is important, in any economy to spend wisely, and save money for a rainy day, when possible. But during recessions, it's critical.

Our Get Healthy, Get Happy strategies are interactive. When money pressures get to you, exercise, better eating habits and improved ‘self-care’ skills can help you reduce unnecessary spending, impulse buying in particular.

Emotionally Driven Spending

Often, spending choices are emotionally-driven. One can make rational choices if one waits and thinks. That is the key to making healthier spending choices. This is something that most people know, but don’t always use.

It's best to review your past spending choices and see what may have contributed to making a poor decision. It's also good to discuss choices with a spouse, significant other or good friend.

The best way to get control over money and your spending is to write down a budget. It is extremely helpful and what I recommend to all.

A Budget

To start, make a list of your monthly bills and amount, in chronological order, with the date each is due. Include bills that come due less than monthly, such as sewer or water bills. Finally, identify spending that is necessary, but not billed directly. This might include groceries, children’s activities, personal care, etc. One of the benefits of doing this is you now know how much money you need each month to pay all your bills and cover the expenses that you feel are essential.

Store this list on your computer, update it as changes occur and print it out monthly. Use this list to track your spending each month. Checking it once a week should be adequate, although doing it more often in the beginning helps to establish the habit. When you look at your bills regularly, it helps you make better decisions about additional spending.

Partners and Money

When money issues arise, it causes stress in households. Couples fight over money. The plan is to reduce the frequency and intensity of these disagreements. Often one partner handles the bills. If this is working well, there is no need to make a change. But if there are frequent arguments, it must become more of an active partnership. By this I mean, the bill-paying should become something done by both, at least for awhile.

Often the non-bill-paying partner does not have a good idea of how money is spent and does the excess spending. Sometimes it is the bill-paying partner who overspends, since the other one doesn't pay any attention to it. Both of these situations are detrimental to the relationship and can be helped by doing the job together and creating a budget to work from.

Together, decide on a time to sit down every week and review the finances, including paychecks, bills paid, bills due and spending choices/issues. Do this amicably, so that it does not become, or continue to be, the source of frequent fighting. If you begin to argue, make a "time-out" sign, walk away and return later to continue the discussion. Make an agreement now to respect the "time-out" sign, with the understanding that it means talking later to make further efforts to resolve the issue. This process will probably be difficult in the beginning, but if you do it regularly, it will improve finances and relationship issues a great deal.

Talking Finances

As we work on improving your spending habits, bring your budget list to your visits with me. We will review your budget and the areas of strength and weakness. We will discuss your financial history, the good times and the bad times. You are probably well aware of things that contributed to the bad times, but may never have actually talked about it. People often are more comfortable talking about sex than their finances! But they find that talking brings a lot of relief, especially when they are told that they are far from alone! As I said, bringing things out in the open brings relief and this is an important first step to making positive changes.

Once we have begun the discussion and identified existing habits, we will be able to set some early goals for change. Often, these are learning to cut back on excessive spending. In order to accomplish this it is very helpful to find things to do which bring enjoyment but are not expensive.

This is a lot like learning to eat healthier versus dieting. Deprivation does not work well! When we deprive ourselves, we tend to revolt and do the forbidden things after a period of deprivation. It works a lot better to 'import' the healthier, enjoyable things, often activities.

Our society has become too passive, almost inert! We have too many 'couch potatoes'. Some time relaxing on the couch is great; too much is destructive. When people spend too much time doing little or nothing, it adversely affects self-esteem. In other words, we feel like crap when we don't do much. Unfortunately, things like watching TV and playing video games can be addictive. In the beginning, I recommend slowly reducing the amount of time that you spend doing these things and slowly increase time spent doing more active, enjoyable things.

It is difficult to break habits and build new ones! But it can be done, a little at a time. It is vital to identify things that you can do that are still pretty easy, enjoyable and affordable, but may be things you have avoided while becoming too dependent on the couch potato-isms. I suggest beginning to do more cooking at home. This does two things. First it saves money, and second, it builds enjoyable, useful habits. It is also often more difficult to venture outside the home when you are accustomed to hanging out at home a lot. So in the beginning, it helps to find things to do at home, so it's still easy to find your way back to the couch.

Non-Spending Rewards

It is very important to find good rewards for changing behavior patterns to healthier habits. When it comes to spending less, people often think it is difficult if not impossible to find things that don't cost a lot of money. However, the reality is there are tons of things to do which are not expensive!

I'll give you a comprehensive list of possibilities, but here are some examples — cooking at home (mentioned above), finding inexpensive hobbies, spending time with friends doing cheap things, listening to music, seeing or doing artwork, engaging in exercise or outdoor activities, taking adult education classes, gardening (seasonal, but doable for many months of the year), joining volunteer organizations or civic groups, or taking classes for personal growth or career development.

In order to move ahead, please make some choices of new things to try. Write down your list and bring it to your next visit with me and we can make a plan to ensure that you actually follow through with these positive changes! By doing these things, you can bring down your expenses and increase your sense of satisfaction with your life, along with relief from financial pressure.

If you have questions about these money issue tips or would like to know more about my 6 step plan to help with  lasting life experience improvement, please let me know by contacting me and I will be glad to help you create the positive healthy, happy changes you want to make. As you make these changes, you will be pleasantly surprised at how powerful they are for you.

by Vicki Handfield

Forget About Dieting!

Forget about dieting! Making your eating habits healthier is more effective and more fun. Dieting is usually about deprivation, or giving up foods you like. Foods are addictive, especially sweets, fats, salty foods — all the foods we are taught are not good for us.

Moderation and Balance

But, ALL FOODS CAN BE EATEN IN MODERATION. Like many other issues regarding establishing or improving healthy habits, it is vital to be working to create BALANCE. But don’t expect perfect balance – it’s always a work in progress.

Delicious Healthy Foods?

One of the keys to better eating habits is "importing" delicious healthy foods. It is a lot easier to eat less of something you love if you are also eating something you enjoy. In time, you will come to love the newer foods almost as much. Using seasonings you like helps a lot too.

Tasty Food Substitutes

To get started, identify the weaknesses in your personal eating habits. Next, we need to find some good substitutes for these foods. The best way to do this is to search online or in cookbooks for some recipes that appeal to you. If you are having trouble finding some good substitutes, a professional dietician can help you with this process, enormously.

Our Get Healthy, Get Happy strategies are interactive. If you begin to develop an exercise habit, your appetite will naturally decrease. One of the more difficult elements is that the appetite often initially increases. Keep in mind that this will pass as you become more fit. Fitness leads to a natural desire to limit food intake most of the time; it does not feel good to work out when you are overly full!

Rockwell - Peeling Potatoes

Eatiing Habits and Menus

Next, look at the eating habits for yourself and your family and identify weaknesses or tendencies that make it challenging. For example, kids activities often interfere with healthy eating. Begin to make a menu for the week and do it with your family so you find things that everyone likes. On days when time is tight, schedule meals that are quick and easy to prepare (but still healthy). If you can, cook more than you need for a meal and freeze some portions; then you will have easy-to-defrost portions for future use. Make up your menu before going food shopping so you buy all that you need and not the things you don't need!

Eating Journal

Doing an eating journal is especially helpful. It does two things. First, the act of writing your food intake down makes you think twice about what you choose to eat. Second, it give us a record of your eating habits and shows your strengths and weaknesses more clearly. Many people find that they eat healthier earlier in the week and that their choices decline as the week progresses. Identifying these trends helps us figure out ways of working out plans that will help. Be sure you write down everything that you eat — meals and snacks; be honest!

Calories and More

Most of us know all that we need to know about calories, fat grams, carbs and proteins, etc. However, if there is an area you are not familiar with, let me know and I'll help you find the resources you need. I can refer you to a nutritionist as well, who can help you make healthy choices. Our work will focus on making the behavior changes that you need to make in order to lose weight and be healthier.

Water

Drinking more water is one of the most important things you can do, along with eating more frequently. Be sure to include how often and how much water you drink in your journal, this will inspire you to drink more and once you do, you will realize how useful it is; it keeps you hydrated and helps you feel more full.

Goals and Rewards

When we have identified your strengths and weaknesses, we will set up goals to accomplish, on a week-to-week basis. These will be very small goals. One of the most frequent sources of failure is to attempt to accomplish too much. When we identify achievable goals, we are far more likely to succeed. People often imagine that they won't feel very good if they aim for accomplishing smaller goals; however, they are frequently very surprised that they do feel good about making small positive changes! And small changes lead to bigger changes and results.

It is also vital to set up personal rewards for making healthy changes. These need to be small, everyday types of rewards, things that you have control over. They may be things like listening to music, engaging in a craft activity, taking a relaxing bath with oil and candles, going to the movies, going to a concert, having 'me' time, basically anything that feels positive and doesn't include food!

Enjoying Life

This also sets the stage for increasing your 'me' time and enjoying life more, which also helps a person turn to other things besides food! We all know the phrase 'comfort food' and there are many good reasons someone invented that term! It doesn't feel good, though, to feel like a slave to food. It feels good, healthy and empowering to eat healthy and enjoy some of the many other good things life has to offer!

If you have questions about these healthy eating tips or would like to know more about my 6 step plan to help with  lasting life experience improvement, please let me know by contacting me and I will be glad to help you create the positive healthy, happy changes you want to make. As you make these changes, you will be pleasantly surprised at how powerful they are for you.

by Vicki Handfield

Assertiveness Skills

Many people are lacking assertiveness skills for fear of not pleasing others and not being liked. A simple example to demonstrate this is not being able to let a waiter or waitress know that the food is not done correctly or to your specifications. Since most servers or managers want you to be happy, they would prefer to know if there is a problem so they can resolve it.

When the problem is resolved it results in you, the customer, leaving happy and telling others about the great service. It is possible to resolve problems in a friendly, civil manner, then you both win. That is really one of the main points of the Get Healthy, Get Happy, Assertive Program! You will feel more confident, calmer and more powerful if you are able to voice your opinions, needs or problems in a straight-forward, clear manner.

Get Assertive Program

Norman Rockwell

Discuss Solutions

When people are able to talk these choices over, they become much more able to express themselves naturally. It is like practicing for a part in a play or movie, you would keep rehearsing your lines until they flow. If we repeatedly discuss the solutions and options, you will find yourself getting more comfortable in situations requiring you to be more assertive. Most of the time, these situations work out for the best. When they do not, we go back to the drawing board, figure out what went wrong and start again. Nobody is perfect; we all make mistakes.

If you have questions about these assertiveness communication tips or would like to know more about my 6 step plan to help with  lasting life experience improvement, please let me know by contacting me and I will be glad to help you create the positive healthy, happy changes you want to make. As you make these changes, you will be pleasantly surprised at how powerful they are for you.

by Vicki Handfield.

Medical providers are now recognizing something I have seen for almost 30 years; good sleep is vital to having a good life!

Many people have trouble getting a good full relaxing, restful night's sleep and this adds to life disruption, stress, aggravation, frustration, etc. Someone told me once they were "FINE", meaning Frustrated, Irritable, Neurotic and Emotional! I thought this was the perfect description of modern life; but, we can overcome many of the everyday problems with good, healthy choices.

Sleeping Tips

Our Get Healthy, Get Happy Strategies are very interactive and build on each other. Exercise is key to better sleep so you may also want to consider this as you look to improve the choices you make.

Norman Rockwell

hey are:

• Consistent schedule
• Bedtime rituals
• Healthy bedtime prep
• Bedtime relaxation

Get Started:

The first step is to identify the things that you know are interfering with your sleep. Often, people are well aware of the interferences, but just don't do anything about it. Make a list of these interferences, put down your ideas of how to change things for the better; we can talk about these items and include them in your goals and plans.

In order to sleep better, develop a more CONSISTENT SCHEDULE. Many people stay up later in order to get things done or simply to have some time for themselves. They tend to feel that there is no other way to accomplish these goals. For many, it’s a matter of time management and better prioritization. It’s important to be open to change and to give other ways a chance. If you make the changes we discuss, your life will flow better and you will feel better. You will have more time and energy, but you must make changes in order to see how this works.

Slowly, go to bed earlier, moving back your bedtime in 15-minute increments. Even if you don't sleep better right away, it will lead to better habits and better sleep. Do something relaxing, like reading, as a way to get your body and mind ready for sleep. Most people do better if they go to bed earlier and get up earlier; there are some who don't work this way, but it's a good idea to experiment.

Then, develop BEDTIME RITUALS. These behaviors tell your mind that sleep time is coming and your brain gets ready for sleep. Common rituals often include closing up the house, checking doors, turning off lights, brushing teeth, changing into pajamas, turning down the bed and getting a book out to read. Other typical items that constitute HEALTHY BEDTIME PREP, may include checking to make sure your clothes are ready for the morning or checking your schedule for the next day. If you have children, this often includes checking their needs, such as lunch, homework, clothing and bathing them. As you can see, this is very linked to how one spends a typical evening. It is important to have regular habits, to do things in a timely manner, but be flexible. It isn't easy, but you will find it gets easier as you do it.

BEDTIME RELAXATION is good for many folks. Once in your bed, take many slow, deep breaths and develop an image of a relaxing location in your mind. For many people, the beach is the most relaxing place on earth! Develop the picture in your mind just as you would see a Polaroid photo develop. Look at the details, the colors, the textures; see the sand, the water, the sky, the waves, the birds, all the things you love and associate with the beach. Continue breathing.

Clear Your Mind

If you have something on your mind that you just can't turn off, keep a pad of paper by your bed, so you can write it down. This helps clear your mind because once it's written down, you know you're going to take care of it. Continue breathing and relaxing, and before you know it, it's morning! If you wake up during the night, and have trouble falling back to sleep, use this technique again, it will help!

Reward Yourself

Make some plans to reward yourself for making the positive changes discussed above. Even though better sleep is very rewarding, rewarding yourself in other ways will help you make the needed changes. Change is so difficult for all of us! It is important to be as positive as possible as you go about making the changes and developing a healthier lifestyle. Too many of us focus on keeping our noses to the grindstone, thinking that only work is rewarding.

Many people saw their parents work very hard with little enjoyment and took this to mean this is what adults do, period! We all tend to imitate our parents, often without thinking a lot about what our goals are and what it will take to get us there. We will often live a lot longer than our parents and grandparents, and it is vital to have a healthy lifestyle in order to live well as we live longer.

If you have questions about these good sleep tips or would like to know more about my 6 step plan to help with  lasting life experience improvement, please let me know by contacting me and I will be glad to help you create the positive healthy, happy changes you want to make. As you make these changes, you will be pleasantly surprised at how powerful they are for you.